111 Ways to Die

Dying is no joke. I’ll be the first to say that there have been moments when I thought about how it will happen to me, and every one of them freaks me out.

A few weeks ago, a co-worker of mine told me about how he wrote down a bunch of ways he could go out, but so far, he hasn’t made true on any of them.

But, it gave me an idea….

We’re all going to die someday, right?  My biggest fear is drowning to death or suffocating, but what if there are 111 ways to go out that are WORSE than either of those, but also kind of funny at the same time.

Why does death have to be so serious?

For example.. …(and keep in mind, I would make these requests in advance and I would pay someone to set it up, but ultimately, I wouldn’t know that it was coming until it actually happened.)

Instead of simply getting shot in the head, I would “walk into a bar in Hollywood to have a drink with Justin Timberlake, right before he takes me into a secret room in the basement where seven gorgeous naked women hold me down as JT shoots me in the dick with a pellet gun, until I bleed out and die on the floor while the movie “Friends With Benefits” plays on the big screen TV.”

You get it? What a terrible way to go!

Every week for eleven weeks, I will post ten horrifically comedic ways to die, then YOU the reader will vote on the top two worst ways to go that week. At the end of the eleven weeks, We will have our top ten, and I will post that in the final blog.

What am I trying to accomplish by doing this?  I don’t know, but I obviously have a dark sense of humor. Regardless of if you think this idea is morally right or wrong, we’re gonna find out.